The True Stories About The Puppies
The True Story of How Wyatt Became Wyatt Earp Jones.
As told by the real Wyatt himself, of course.
Howdy folks! It's me, Wyatt - your favorite flying Dachshund. Today I'm going to tell you the true story of my real Mom, Linda, my real Dad, Dave, and how I came to be…well…Wyatt. You see, me, my brothers Jake and Dunkin are real live Dachshunds , Cooper and Reese are real live Corgis, we the real dogs that our characters in Dad's stories are based on. The stories may have airplanes and adventures and a lot of flying, but the dogs? Oh, we are very real personalities, and believe you me … Mom and Dad know it.
Before I get to my part of the story, we have to go back a little ways.
Mom, Linda and Dad, Dave have been married going on 32 years, and during that time they have rescued around 32 dogs and a dozen or more cats.
Now that, my friends, is what we Dachshunds call a proper household. Apparently when Mom and Dad first met, Mom already had a gorgeous long-haired red Dachshund named Jeremy. Mom had rescued Jeremy from the Humane Society of Collier County in Naples, Florida. She had been volunteering there, and one day someone showed her this long-haired red Dachshund that needed a home. Mom says it was love at first sight.
Now I should point out that this is a very common condition when humans encounter Dachshunds. We have that effect on people. I had the exact same effect on Mom and Dad myself. It's what we in the Dachshund community call "Wienerdog-induced instant affection."
Anyway, Mom named him Jeremy, and Jeremy turned out to be the best first Dachshund Dad could have ever met. Dad jokes that it was Jeremy who "wienerized" him.
Up until then, Dad had never really been around Dachshunds very much. But Jeremy fixed that problem immediately. And now, almost 32 years later, Dad is just as addicted to Dachshunds as Mom is. He is also now addicted to "Corgis", but we'll get to that little situation later. Personally, I think it has something to do with us having short legs and enormous personalities.
Now before I showed up, there was Jake. Mom and Dad already had Jake and Della. Della was Mom's beautiful little red long-haired female Dachshund. Mom and Della did everything together - kind of like Mom and Daisy Sue in Dad's books. Della passed away in November of 2024, and poor Jake was absolutely heartbroken. Mom and Dad had Jake for about 15 years. They adopted him in late 2010, when he was around a year old, maybe a year and a half. Jake had been turned into a shelter in Florida because he had fleas. Yes, folks Fleas. Can you imagine that? Throwing out a perfectly good Dachshund over a few freeloading insects. Humans can be very strange sometimes.
But it turned out to be Jake's lucky day, because Mom and Dad adopted him, and that is when he became "Jake The Snuggle Bug Jones." One of the best little Dachshunds anyone could ever have. Back when Mom and Dad still lived in Florida, Jake would go to work with Dad every single day. Jake was quiet, calm, and laid-back - exactly like he's portrayed in Dad's books. Mom and Dad sadly lost Jake in early January of 2026, and after having lived with him for 15 years they still miss him very much.
Now that brings us to the current crew. That would be me - Wyatt, my brother Dunkin, Cooper and Reese the Corgis. And folks, this is where my story gets interesting.
Mom found me by accident. She was getting ready to post a sewing machine for sale on LSN.While she was typing up the ad, another ad popped up on the screen.
That ad was me a beautiful long-haired black and gray dapple Dachshund with a Blue right eye and a Brown left eye.
Mom thought I looked very unique, which is a polite way of saying I looked extra handsome. So she saved the ad to show Dad later.
Well, friends when Dad saw my picture, he immediately said something that every Dachshund hopes to hear: "Text them and ask if they still have him."
The seller replied and said that yes, I was still available. Dad asked if Mom, Dad, and Jake could come meet me. And folkswithin a few hours they came to meet me…
…and in less than an hour, I had a new Mom, a new Dad, and a new older brother. Well folks that part of the story went beautifully. The ride home, however…not so much.
I was riding in the back seat, and Jake was riding in Mom's lap in the front passenger seat. Mom and Dad were discussing what they should name me.
They were bouncing different names back and forth.
About five minutes into the trip Jake looked in the back where I was sitting, he turned to Mom and said "Mom he's still back there"…About that time, I threw up.
Right there in the back seat. Yep I just let it go "BARF". Now thankfully Mom had already put seat covers on the back seat because she apparently understands that Dachshunds sometimes have strong opinions about Dad's driving. Dad pulled the car over he got me out and walked me around while Mom cleaned up the back seat.
Back in the car we went.
Five minutes later Jake said "Mom he's still back there"…Well folks I threw up again. So once again Dad pulled over. We walked. Mom cleaned.
Back in the car we went.
Five minutes later…Yep as soon as Jake said "Mom he's still back there," you guessed it, Round three. Dad pulled over again. Walk. Clean.
Back in the car we went. .
Five minutes later and Jake said it again…then we had Round four. By this point there really wasn't much left in my stomach, but I felt it was important to remain consistent.
So once again Dad and I walked while Mom cleaned.
Back in the car we went.
Mom told Jake will you please stop saying it. This time…Five minutes passed. No throw up. Ten minutes passed still good thirty minutes passed still clean.
Mom and Dad were back to discussing possible names when suddenly they both said at the exact same time: "We should call him WYATT EARP!"
And that, Ladies and Gentlemen is the true story of how I became - Wyatt Earp Jones.
And just like that, we pulled into the driveway of my new home. With no more throw-up sessions. Which Mom and Dad both considered a very encouraging sign.
The True Story of How Dunkin Became "Dunkin the Donut Jones"
As told by Wyatt, who witnessed the aftermath
Alright folks, gather around, because now we get to the story of my little brother Dunkin - also known to the world as "Dunkin the Donut."
And believe me when I say this…the story of how he got that name is almost as ridiculous as he is.
Now folks the time this happened was June of 2025, and life around our house was already pretty full. You see, Mom and Dad already had Jake and me, Wyatt - which if you ask me is already a perfectly respectable number of Dachshunds. But Dad has this…condition. Some people call it "looking at dog ads online." Dad calls it "just browsing." The rest of us call it "How yet another Dachshund showed up at our house."
So one day Dad was on LSN doing what he claimed was important technical research. He was supposedly looking for an old used 10-foot satellite dish for his GOES-19 satellite system. Now if you know Dad, that part of the story actually checks out. But while he was scrolling through the ads, something popped up on the screen. And it was not a satellite dish.
It was a picture of a super cute little black-and-tan smooth Dachshund puppy (are there any other kind?). The ad said he was seven months old, and sadly his current mom had become allergic to him and needed to find him a new home. Dad immediately did what any reasonable Dachshund enthusiast would do. He showed the ad to Mom. Mom looked at the picture…and immediately said: "NO." Not "maybe." Not "let's think about it just a very clear and very firm "NO." Mom said, "Dave, I am still not over losing Della, and I am not ready for another puppy. Besides, we already have Jake and Wyatt."
Now normally when Mom says something like that, Dad understands that the subject is closed. But apparently Dad's fingers had other plans, because the next thing anyone knew…Dad had already texted the seller. Mom just looked at him. You know that look humans give each other that says tell me "You did not just do that?"
The seller texted back and said the puppy was still available. Mom sighed the sigh of someone who already knows how this story ends. She said, "Well…we can go look at him. But we do not need another puppy right now." Now folks, if you ever hear a human say "We can just go look," I want you to understand something very important.
That phrase has never once in the history of Dachshunds meant "just looking."
So Mom and Dad drove to Smithville, Tennessee to meet the little guy. And get this…They left me and Jake at home. Which I personally feel was a serious tactical mistake, because Jake and I would have immediately explained that the house already contained the correct number of Dachshunds. But anyway…when Mom and Dad arrived, Dunkin's owner came out to meet them in the driveway. And then she handed little Dunkin to Mom. Now folks…The moment Mom picked him up, Dunkin executed what I like to call a Level-One Dachshund Charm Offensive.
The very first thing he did was lean forward…and gave Mom a big slobbery slurp right on her cheek. It was Game over. Just like that. Mom was done. You could practically hear the words "we're taking him home" floating through the air. Within thirty minutes, Dunkin had a new Mom, a new Dad and two new brothers and was officially headed to his new home.
Now on the drive back, Mom and Dad were trying to figure out what to name him. They tried several names. But nothing sounded right. Meanwhile, Dunkin was sitting there being adorable and acting like he had lived with them his entire life. Eventually they drove through Sparta, Tennessee, which is on the way home. As they passed through town, Dad suddenly pointed at something. It was a big sign. And that sign said: DUNKIN DONUTS Dad pointed at it and said, "That's it! That's his name!"
Mom laughed and said, "I love it! He's as sweet as a Dunkin Donut." And just like that…the little black-and-tan Dachshund puppy officially became: DUNKIN or as the world now knows him. "Dunkin the Donut Jones, The Flying Dachshund."
And when Mom and Dad finally brought him home…Jake and I just looked at each other. Because we both knew something very important, our house had just become one Dachshund louder. And folks…Trust me on this. Dunkin has never been quiet since.
The True Story of How Cooper Became "Cooper the Tank"
As told by Wyatt, who witnessed the aftermath
Alright folks, now we come to the story of my big brother Cooper also known around here as Cooper the Tank Jones. And trust me there is a very good reason for that nickname. Friends this story takes place on September 11th, 2025. Now on that particular day Dad was out in his workshop working on…well…something.
To be honest, nobody ever really knows exactly what Dad is doing out there. It could have been loading Linux onto a computer, messing around with a Raspberry Pi, adjusting one of his many antennas, or tinkering with his GOES-19 weather satellite dish.
Yes folks our Dad actually has a satellite dish set up to receive images directly from the GOES-19 weather satellite. Which means that while most humans watch the weather on TV…Dad prefers to download it directly from space.
But I digress. Dad finally came inside the house, and Mom was sitting at her computer. Mom said, "Dave, look what just popped up on my screen." On the screen was a picture of a three-year-old Pembroke Welsh Corgi. Now you have to understand something about Mom and Dad. Any time they see a Corgi on TV, YouTube, or anywhere else, they both say the same thing. "Look at that Corgi smile we should adopt a Corgi someday."
Now as a Dachshund, I feel it's important to point out that Dachshunds are clearly superior dogs. But I will admit…Corgis do have a pretty impressive smile.
Anyway, Dad looked at the picture. Mom looked at the picture. And I'm sure you can guess what happened next.
Dad pulled out his phone…and sent a text "Do you still have the Corgi?" A few seconds later his phone buzzed. He looked at the message and read the four words that Mom dreads the most. "Why yes I do." That meant the Corgi was still available. Which was surprising, because the owner was actually giving him away for free.
Now normally when something is free, humans get suspicious. But when the free thing is a Corgi with a big goofy smile, suspicion goes right out the window.
So before Jake, Dunkin or I could stop the process, Mom and Dad were getting ready to drive to Cookeville, Tennessee to meet this mysterious Corgi named Cooper.
They arranged to meet Cooper's owner in the parking lot of a convenience store, which honestly was a pretty smart idea. When they arrived, Cooper's owner stepped out of the car and she let him out on his leash. Now here's where Cooper showed his true personality. The moment he hit the ground, he marched straight over to Dad like they had known each other for years. Friendly Happy with his tail Bob wagging. Then he walked over to Mom and did exactly the same thing. Super friendly with That Big Corgi smile, it was the Perfect behavior. Within fifteen minutes, the decision had been made. Cooper was going home with Mom and Dad, which meant he was also going home to meet his three new brothers: Jake, Dunkin and me Wyatt.
His name was already Cooper, and Mom and Dad both agreed it suited him perfectly. He just looked like a Cooper. But after he had been living with us for a few days, he earned a new nickname. You see, when Cooper goes outside in the yard…He pees on everything. The grass, the bushes, the trees, the fence and the grow boxes.
He would probably pee on the neighbor's mailbox if he could get to it. And the strange thing is…He never runs out. Ever! It's like he has a secret reserve tank somewhere. That's when Dad started calling him: "The Tank." Now I should point out something very important here. Despite Cooper's impressive outdoor watering abilities…He never pees in the house. None of us do. Not me. Not Dunkin. Not Cooper. We are far too sophisticated for that nonsense.
Dunkin and Cooper love to play chase. Dunkin will chase Cooper and then Cooper will chase Dunkin. They play together like they have been together all of their lives.
Now folks during the day Cooper goes out to the workshop with Dad every day. He supervises Dad while Dad writes his books, works on computers, or tinkers with whatever strange electronic project is happening that day. And let me tell you something…If Cooper doesn't get to go to the shop with Dad, he gets very unhappy. Apparently he takes his job as Chief Workshop Supervisor very seriously.
So that, my friends…is the true story of how a Corgi from Cookeville with a big goofy smile became Cooper the Tank Jones. And between you and me…Life around here has been a lot louder, a lot funnier, and a lot wetter ever since.
